Lord, in Your Mercy

Though I set my mind to do good, my hands do evil. Though with my spirit I decry wickedness, my lips and heart forsake righteousness. Every day the Spirit of Christ which is in me wars against the spirits of my flesh– spirits of slothfulness, of fear, of doggedness, of selfishness.

I pray often that I might be given the strength and the courage to proclaim among men what my Lord has done for me, but when there is opportunity, I more often than not let it slip away, because I am afraid. I am afraid of being ridiculed by men. Even if they don’t mock me to my face, I worry that they might mock me in their hearts.

What a silly thing to fear! Were not the saints of old confronted much more severely, even with the risk of death, yet stood firm and feared only God? But this is my weakness. I am a people-pleaser, I always have been. I used to think this was a good and godly trait, as if by gaining the approval of men I was gaining the approval of God.

But can we approve of those who believe it is right to murder unborn babies or to maim young children and take them from their parents? Are we to throw the commandments of God back in His face to avoid stepping on someone’s little toe? It is a wonder that we even dare! For though men may have the power to end our earthly lives, the almighty God has the power to cast us into eternal darkness. Men wither and return to the dust they were created from, but God has no beginning or end.

Just as it’s far easier to follow the lusts of the flesh than to follow Christ, it’s far easier to tell people what they want to hear than to denounce evil. It’s easier to sit in the darkness with everyone else.

But the followers of Christ are called to be lights in the midst of a dark world. How foolish we are, since we have the light of Christ, to cover it with a basket! We are a city set upon a hill, citizens of the glorious New Jerusalem that is to come, a light to the glory of God the Father.

May the Lord forgive me for being ashamed to bear this light, for cowering in fear under the scrutiny of evil men. Imploring His mercy I ask for pardon, even as He pardoned St. Peter after his denial. Imploring His grace I ask for courage, that I may fear only God, that my zeal for the Gospel of Jesus Christ may overpower the cowardice of my flesh.

Lord, in Your mercy, hear my prayer.